And the Award for ‘Worst Awards Ceremony
Ever’ goes to...
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Tell me, what exactly is the point of an awards ceremony with only five eligible
winners? Tell me, what exactly is the point of Phillip Schofield?
The British Soap Awards are officially ITV’s way of “celebrating our soaps.” The British public love soaps, that’s why so many are aired, so what exactly seperates the likes of Channel 5’s ‘Doctors’ (it’s a soap on C5 about doctors) from Holby City (a soap on BBC about doctors)?
Probably just the channel I’m afraid.
ITV have hit hard times, and people are meant to care? The drivel they show on
Prime Time, added with the trash magnet that is ITV2 and the irrelevance of
ITV4, not forgetting the endless stream of ads, make it officially the worst
terrestrial channel.
The Soap Awards is not only full of nobodies, but is completely unfair. ITV
just want the odds stacked in their favor - both Corrie and Emmerdale (tell me,
why would someone set a soap on a farm?) go up against EastEnders (BBC),
Hollyoaks (C4) and the aforementioned Doctors (C5). And as for that old bird
winning the best dramatic performance as opposed to EastEnder’s brilliant ‘Tony the Paedo’ storyline, further distances the Awards from the reality it is supposed to
represent. Until they install the likes of Holby City, Casualty, The Bill and
anyother ridiculously irritating continuous drama that I’ve hastened to mention in the mix, it will forever be irrelevant. And as for
Phil and Fern... best not...
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Should Mona really have been forced to bite the bullet for Debra’s inadequacies? I’m all for keeping the interesting ones in, but surely Debs as TL should have
been out the door for some poor product choices.
The best thing about The Apprentice is of course the situations that these bunch
of numpties are thrown into. How would one not think - ‘Hmm we’re having a meeting with execs more connected than the average Dragon, let’s pick just ONE product in their region...’ No? Obviously not.
Thought Sir Alan made a big boo boo kicking out Phil last week. How he can
reason that someone isn’t ostracizing when she brings a couple’s ‘relationship’ into the Board Room is again, quite baffling. Still everyone’s least-favorite swinger in town continues to stumble her way through.
My top tip was Phil, so as he’s gone, I can only imagine the likes of Debra or Village Idiot, James, will
somehow cruise to victory. James in particular seems to have a bantering
rapport with the big man, and with certainly not the subtlest whiff of Lee
McQueen about him, is one to watch.
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Where to start eh? Phil’s “miraculous” recovery from alcoholism, basically triggered by a rather laughable Ben handing
him a bottle of vodka. This was particularly disappointing as Phil’s drunken behaviour was probably the finest acting Steve McFadden has
contributed since... his last one?
Stacey Slater, absolutely fine for years, having to put up with a) an extremely
insane brother b) living with a mentally-ill mother and c) her marriage
breaking down... suddenly goes loopy after... Danielle dying. That girl has
caused more grief six feet under than she caused the viewers everytime Ronny
was around. Which I might add, was a ridiculous outcome. Still that’s the problem with these modern-day EastEnder’s script writers - premature ejaculation... how do their other halves cope?
Back to Stacey, I’m afraid, as all Friday was centred around her. She’s obsessed with fictituous video game, ‘Deprivation’... does Stacey even own a games console? Just another Walford Unsolved Mystery
to add to the likes of the Vic’s pool table and who owns Fargos?
(c) ChrisOnline.biz 2009
