What a muppet! Said he never takes drugs cos some nasty spliff made him talk to trees, that ’d be a damn sight more interesting than his usual.

It’s hard to be nasty to her, but a prime candidate to walk - I’m surprised the bookies are still taking bets on it. Mr. Jacko has a lot to answer for.

His face when being relayed the “drug story”. Likes a lady and was quick to offer the champers to all and sundry, watch this one...

Has an understandable complex on being helped. I see trouble ahead with the little man taking centre-stage, if he doesn ’t fondle a girl than I’m Columbo.

Mr. Nobody is kidding himself if he thinks 3 weeks’ worth of incarceration won’t provide a ruckus. BB has to get its money’s worth!

I can guarantee that no-one on Earth wanted to hear whether she’s getting any or not. Quite frankly her hair always looks a mess...

The poshest glamour model on Earth. Clearly quite the snob but has the potential to be utterly dull...

“I think people may have the perception I’m not a very nice person..” and it’s becoming evident why! Will cause ripples, I guarantee it.

Let’s hope no-one brings up the subject of Sugababes! Maybe she’ll get another tattoo commemorating her time, if there’s any room left...

Poor ol’ Ulrika, hot water rationed... still not bad for £180k?! A waste of money, I’d say, hasn’t mentioned her kids once...

I have absolutely no doubt this man will entertain me and annoy the rest of the country.  Thank god he’s immune from Round 1!