2009 Series Review
Let’s begin with this year’s awards...
Star of the Show: Coolio
Biggest Blunder: Lucy Pinder
The Thames Water Tears Prize: Michelle
Heaton
The Alexandra de Gale “I Told You” Prize for Biggest Ruck: Coolio and Tina Malone
Best Line in a Ruckus: Coolio for: (Tina Malone: No man will ever tell me to fuck off!) Coolio: “I just did!”
Biggest Waste of Cash: Ulrika Johnson (£175k)
Funniest Moment: Verne’s drunken night
The ‘Nasty Nick’ Award for Biggest Gameplan: Michelle Heaton and Ben Adams (who didn’t have a girlfriend)
The Consistent Comedy Award: Terry
Christian
The BB3 Sunita Sharma Award for Most Pointless Walk-Out: Mutya Buena
The Chantelle Houghton Award for Biggest Nobody (especially after): Tommy Sheridan
Now for the serious stuff. This year’s series was quite the letdown on the whole, failing to emulate past CBB Gold
like The George, Pete and Michael show and The Racist Year. Ratings were
significantly down, reportedly by over two million viewers.
That said, it would be a crying shame if the format was ditched next year as it
was clearly a vast improvement on the shambles that was Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack of last year notoriety.
Entrants into the Hall of Fame above are divided into gold and silver with a
rather large relegation zone. CM
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Whatever they paid him, it wasn’t enough. Coolio lit up the CBB House like one of those annoying porch
floodlights. Constant rapping, slipping into random alter-egos and generally
aggravating would be seen as unsocial behaviour outside those walls!
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Terry proved himself as a great HM and in sharp contrast to A1 gimp, Ben, proved
that it actually is possible to get on with everyone and still take the piss.
Game for all the range of BB’s humiliating tasks, Terry had us laughing until the shocking finish with
Ulrika.
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What do you want from a Big Brother housemate? You need a villian and one that
cries all the time to boot is a godsend. Not forgetting the botched love story
ploy with Ben for more votes. Of course their choice of agent is irrelevant in
reality TV!
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Ulrika may not have deserved to win but was an unwilling contestant with her
feathers ruffled. Probably scooped top prize as the public were so shocked that
someone could earn that much for 3 weeks’ work - and didn’t she have to earn it!
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Bookie’s favourite Verne suddenly lost his momentum, finishing in lowly fourth. His
entrance and one drunk night were unfortunately the highlights of what was
otherwise a very mediocre stay. Still a decent enough HM, just a shame he has
to get wasted to achieve that status!
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Lovely LaToya proved to us all that the media’s rather harsh perception of her family is wide of the mark. Got involved in
virtually everything and also chipped in with some good observations. And the
ladies’s bitching? Pure jealousy, eh Chantelle?
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Tommy had a lot to live up to thanks to fellow Scottish politician, George
Galloway’s legendary stint in the House... and fell flat on his face. Not really that
interesting, not really that opinionated and not really needed on TV.
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Scousers the country over should have hung their heads in despair after her mainstream representation.
Argumentative, hypocritical and backstabbing are just some adjectives to
describe her first day in the house. And no-one wants to see that.
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How can I put this without being blunt... BORING. No unfortunately there wasn’t any other way to express what Ben brought to the show.
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Why did she walk? Maybe it was because her tolerance lasted less than a week,
where the ‘sweet as’ mirage drained away. Should BB have given her the full loot, don’t be ridiculous. Was there any point to her being in the house? As above.
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Pinder went into the house with the reputation of being a sultry glamour model,
she walked out first with the reality of being pretty dull with big boobs. You
can imagine what bosses thought when they had to waive goodbye to a 5 figure
sum a week later.
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(c) ChrisOnline.biz 2009
